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      When you grow up, I think we do have a dream which we want to be in our future. When I was in kindergarten, I said I want to be an architect so I could build a beautiful house for my parents. Then it's me in the elementary school, I saw Britney Spears whom dancing and singing passionately on TV, I want to be a singer dancer too, because I like dancing so much. I'm holding that dream until middle school. Then it's in High school when I started to think more skeptical and more realistic about my dream. I could dance, but singing? not so good tho. 

      My parents didn't support me the way I wanted too, maybe because I was half ashamed and shy of speaking honestly about what I wanted to do in my life. I remember when I was in third or fourth grade, I want to learn Ballet, but instead my mom put me in learning classes for Al-Qur'an. Then in middle school, I said I wanted to take vocal lesson, but instead, my mom put me in classical piano class. 😞

      Then I buried every thought of it and become more realistic in high school. Back to basic, being an architect. I got to this campus with a good reputation on architecture major in my father's hometown. Then I moved to South Korea for  a half year to learn Korean language, back to architecture again and I think I failed on this matter. After that, I moved to another campus near my hometown instead, majoring in interior design. Till now, it seemed pretty good. 

      But I guess the memory that longing for something I want is still in the back of my head. What if?, what if I'm putting my freakin' energy for dancing only. What if I was so stubborn and letting my parents know what I want. What if this, what if that, and that's keeping me awake at night. Making me anxious about the reality and the future. 

      Life sometimes takes us on a very strange journey, like it or not. The answer of "what if" is still very strange for me. Maybe, in another life, I could be something else. Being stubborn, speaking honestly about what I want and not giving up. 

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